DanieLLe (myperfectflaws) wrote,
DanieLLe
myperfectflaws

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I Hate Today Already

I am in SUCH a bad mood - ugh! I'm just so stressed out. I'm fucking hysterical crying and where is Sam? SLEEPING! I called her TWICE to wake her up, but God forbid she gets out of the fucking bed. Ok whatever. Fuck you. I always wake up for you - you don't even have to ask! But whatever. I hope you have fucking nightmares.

So here I am, finishing up a report for school, minding my own business, when all of a sudden Mouse starts yelling at me and telling me that I need to give him $200 a month bc I'm 18 now, and $250 if I want cable in my room. He doesn't want me to have the car in college, so he's probably gonna take that away, AND I don't even know if I'm fucking GOING to college now bc Mouse and my mom are steadfast on the fact that they're not helping me pay for it at ALL. I'm completely on my own.

I feel SO helpless and just sad. Yesterday at the vocal recital (which was very good by the way, especially bc it was only like an hour long) I stayed with Drummer James the whole time bc we both didn't have anybody there with us. He convinced me to go to prom and told me that it'd be the best night of my life. I got REALLY excited to go and was finally going to ask my mom about it today, but now I know that I can't go bc I don't have the money!

If my mom and Mouse want rent from me and are going to make me pay for having cable in my room, then there's NO fucking way that they're going to spot me $1000 for prom! So of course I got my hopes up for NOTHING! This ALWAYS happens. There's no way I can deal with this all right now, ESPECIALLY with finals and AP tests coming up and worrying about graduating and passing and now paying for college!

There goes the hope of me ever getting a cell phone again. There goes the hope of me going on vacation with all of my friends this summer. There goes the prom night that Ro and I have been dreaming of for years. There goes EVERYTHING. I'm just left here alone to cry while my mom and Mouse continue to upset me. Whatever. They purposely pick on me bc they think it's funny to make fun of me and remind me that I'm dependant upon them and there's nothing I can do about it. I just want to fucking crawl in a hole and die. Yeah, maybe I'll go do that now...

PS: Thanks for showing me what your priorities are, Sam.
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